Sunday, May 27, 2007
135 days ago...
135 days ago, my life changed totally. From 13th Jan 2007 to 130107. From 1.30pm to 1330. From waking up in the morning to reverlie (or however they spelt that). From going to bed to lights out. From getting out of the house to booking out of camp. From coming back home to booking in back to camp. From paying cash for meals to scanning card for meals. Things changed - dramatically- overnight.I no longer have to comb my hair as there were no longer hair long enough to comb. Also, my ezlink turned from blue to green. From beep-beep to a single toot. I can no longer be considered as a student of any school. Seriously, I didnt feel good about all the abovementioned. I have always hated to realise that I am already 19 (going 20 in fact) and it is time for me to do what I didnt have to do if I was in where I was born. I joined this organisation that forbids me saying things that reveals too much of what they are doing so I shall not mention what I am going through ( but it should be obvious enough ). True that I did became more mature as I went through hardship that I wouldnt have gone through if I was student. But I also became more depressed easily. Probably, I hated the state I am in now so much that I wanted to quit alot. Sadly, there isnt any choice at all for me and for all the others who going through what I am going through now.
In the days when i was away from the mainland Singapore, I knew friends whom our friendship surpassed many friends that I have known in Sec school and JC. Then comes to days back in Singapore mainland, there are also friends that meant a lot to me in my life at this point in time. Without all of them, I could have finished off myself. I am not trying to scare off anyone by saying all this but I am just trying to express my gratitude to my friends who helped and supported me when I needed them the most.
Up till here, I am getting tired already, so will continue in an other day.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Back from HK and to day is the first dae of school!!! for my sister... `
Yoyoyo!!! I am back from HK for many days already but I haven't really pack all my stuff yet cause I had too many stuff to do: 1. finish my collection of vcds and dvds 2. listen to all my cds 3. upload them in computer and finish the snacks first. I bought so many vcds and dvds from HK that I think I need to watch them 24/7 each day for like a month or two to finish them entirely. Actually there are more to come cause my aunt is coming over on the 6th to SG to see me off on 13th. So there will be more to come on 6th. Anyway I have many things to share about my experience in HK but I wouldnt say them just yet cause today is an important to day to talk about.Today morning at 0630, I actually woke up with my sister cause today is the first day of school of year 2007... wait... for my sister... Then I am supposed to bring my sister to her school which is now only a few stones' throws on this special day. Just we reach her school at around 7, I saw her off and I turned back to the nearest MacD and have my breakfast. That is unusual. AT this time last year, I should be rushing out of the house and racing against time to the bus stop so that I dont miss the crucial 48 bus before I need to pay another extra 2 bucks plus the taxi fare to get to school and then carry on with my mugging and stuff. Nope. Nothing like that happened today. I strolled. I enjoyed my breakfast. I finished my drink after a game of Burnout 2 PSP. I actually have ample time to go to the Gents and tidy up myself and finish my "business". Then I strolled back to the bus stop and let whatever bus I like and dislike go like nobody's business. If today last year is call "rush hour", then today this year must be "the Holiday". Then as I was taking the xth bus that passes by, I got abit down. Every year today, I am rushing my guts out to get to school and mug, but this year today, I didnt do that. I was too free. I feel so awkward when I can laze around my bed at 9 plus to watch my movies.
Maybe a busy life is more suitable for me.
Maybe I prefer to be in school, schooling... mugging...
I am so weird... Am I?
Monday, December 04, 2006
Last post of the year...
Yeah.. tomorrow is prom night and wed I am gone! Quite excited tonight. Didnt know what to write also... Anyway, this will be the last post as there will no time tomorrow night and I will only be back on 28th. Maybe I would still write on the last two days but nevertheless, this should be the last post of the year.So this is the end of what I wanted to write though.
Wait, I suddenly realised this may not be the last post cos I may still write post in HK! So silly of me...
Heres a song I like recently. Quite a cheerful song surprisely cos I seldom like cheerful songs like this one. The tune actually sound really cheerful but actually the lyrics isnt really so cos there are parts like its ok to swallow your pride and stuff. Heres the song.. its by show and koda kumi
This is the english version...
This is the solo japanese version by koda kumi alone. very nice also.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Yeah got my prom wear already! Thanks jie again. Jie shopped with me yesterday for the whole day to get my prom wear. Not only that, she actually paid for them and said that they were my next year's birthday and X'mas present. THANK YOU! But they are really too expensive... My mum said that she must pay jie back but jie said that it's ok... I also dont know what to do. In any case, I am still happy that I have got my prom wear. It is really very nice and fashionable. Love it :) (It is teh first two pictures with a olive green jacket and a white tee inside). As for the last two pictures, I was just taking them for fun. Actually the pink V neck is also part of what jie gave me. She said that the tee was very nice so cant resist. Thank you again. *0*/ However, amongst yesterday's happy mood, I was quite sad about one thing. THE SHOPKEEPER SAID THAT I LOOKED LIKE A 21-YEAR-OLD!!! haix... I know I do look older then I am but I didnt expect that old though. No wonder I am an Old Soul (if you didnt read my ld blog, you might not know this). Sad case.
By the way, I have just received a letter from the RSAF. Months ago, they sent me a letter telling me to go for a test to see whether I qualify to be a RSAF people or not. Although there wasnt any results as they have promised, not even a "thank you for your participation" letter, they sent another letter yesterday saying that I am invited to go down on 9th Dec to attend a dont-know-what talk. Heehee. Too bad. I would have went back to HK by then. So I am supposed to tell them that I cant go or something. Actually, I really wondered why they actually contacted me in the first place. I am not saying this due to lack of self-confidence but based on facts. Firstly, I am not tall (Shouldnt pilots be tall, suave and handsome like those in TV shows adn documentaries?). Secondly, I am not well-built. (I think pilots must have the physique to withstand the air pressure difference, the swirvelling of the plane and stuff, right?) Thirdly, I am not borned to be one in the first place. (Honestly, I am one who will get travel sickness quite often although air travel sickness wasnt that common for me. Also, my eyesight still sucks.) So I think the government have chose the wrong candidate this time round. I might be more suited to be a cleaner or calculater in the army though. I am not praising myself but I can really clean well, maybe because I am Virgo? I didnt like planes also. The only thing that attracts me from RSAF is the $8000 basic pay. (Ok, I am just being practical and realistic).
Oh my god, I realised that this could be the longest post I have ever wrote. The nest thing I am going to talk about is today's incident. Today, 30th November is my mum's birthday! But we didnt celebrate... Didnt even go out to have dinner. No present. No dinner. No birthday cake. No birthday song. Nothing. Just another normal day. Haix.. Felt so guilty actually. Not that we didnt want to celebrate but my mum didnt want. We booked buffet dinner tonight and just when we were changing to go out, my mum said shes not going out cos she needed to make dumplings. Haix... No mood.. So we just packet food home to eat. Can sense that my mum is unhappy. SO in the end, just now I overheard my mum's conversation with my aunt in HK. My mum was upset that we have all forgotten her birthday. Yes, I admit that I really forgot that today was my mum's birthday until my dad msged me in the morning. I am not finding excuses for my negligence but I really didnt feel well the whole day cos I didnt sleep well yesterday night. So I didnt draw any cards or prepared any present today. As a result, my mum was sad because of that. What is done cant be undone. I also dont know what to do.
Before I sign off, I have one thing to say. I HAVE INSOMNIA!!! ARGHHH... This is difficult. I have been having it since JC. But now that even A lvls is over, I am still suffering from it. ARGHHH... It is so painful... yesterday after the trip to orchard I thought it would be a insomnia-less night but NO! I stayed fully awake until 3! Not even abit of sleepyness. Finally around 4 I managed to take a short nap then I woke up at 8. Wanted to go back to sleep but I just cant. Headache the whole day. In the end, I took my sister's advice to exercise. So I skipped and did push ups. Sweat alot. Hope tonight can sleep if not I would have to see the doctor for sleeping pills and hope that he wouldnt misunderstand that I want to commit suicide because I wouldnt do such stupid things.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
A brand new start
Hmmm... This is a new start. For what? I also dont know. Jst feel like starting afresh. Maybe I have realised something- One still have to be responsible for what he/she writes in his/her blog. So this blog will not make the same mistake that the old blog did.Since this is a new blog and a new start, let me share something about my day today. As usual, I slept until 11 plus when my tutor and Jess msged me. The former said that she will call and she did, told me a few things about her plan about my prom cloth. Then Jess said that she was interviewing for her job. Later, I waited for the delivery to come (some stuff that my parents used for work). At the same time, I was mopping floor, cooking lunch and msging Jess cos she was too bored as she had to wait until 3 for another interview. In the end she didnt go for the second one. I went to accompany her as she wait for another one at 6. In the end, she said that she was waiting for her family for dinner instead of interview but I still accompany her until 6. Heard that her parents were treating her relatives a meal so she have to join them. She kind of mentioned that I can join them (if I didnt hear wrongly) but I thought that it was their family gathering so I didnt stay. If it was just their parents, I wouldnt mind cos her parents were quite nice and easygoing. Not that I am very old or what but I was quite shocked that Jess still like to drink Yakult (Not teasing though, just shocked).
So ya thats about it today. But from today onwards, I have a new plan - I am trying to gain weight. Hmmm... ya.. I am stupid. I have always been like that. Maybe I am Virgo so I really care what people around me say about me. True, I am gainign weight cos people have been saying that I am thin and stuff.
Arghh... stupid me...